Advocate My dad’s core values
By Vanessa Kerry

From The Advocate, July 6, 2004 

I have a rainbow ribbon on my backpack. It’s been there since last year when my friends were headed off to gay pride and I wanted to show my solidarity with both their celebration and their fight for equal rights. I’ve had other ribbons on my backpack in the past year, but of all of them this is the only one that’s stayed on and hasn’t fallen off through a year of wear and tear. I love that it’s been so resilient.

The issues of equality that face LGBT Americans are close to my heart. Since high school, I’ve had many good and dear gay friends. And in several cases I was the first person to whom they chose to come out. I was honored and touched because they said they wanted their first conversation to be with a friend who would not only be supportive but also celebrate the brave gift of openness in the world.

Maybe it’s generational or maybe it’s attitudinal, but among my friends, all I see are couples making a loving commitment to one another, some of them raising children. All I see is the fabric of a strong and healthy community. To me, that’s what family values are: people who take responsibility for one another, who contribute to society in small ways and large and are invested in things that matter, whether it is their community or their home.

The use of marriage as a wedge issue by this administration is both infuriating and insulting to me. I find it unacceptable and appalling to take the United States Constitution and twist it for political expediency. Instead of investing in education, health care, and job creation, George Bush has decided to spend his energy playing politics with the LGBT community. In my opinion, American lives are jeopardized by problems such as an unequal educational system, unaffordable and inaccessible health care, and the loss of jobs in this country. America is not jeopardized by loving people making a lifetime commitment to one another.

The threat of constitutional amendments to dictate social policy and force states to discriminate against groups of their own citizens cannot be permitted. Our country was founded on free debate and discussion, and they have kept this country strong for more than 200 years. We cannot be a nation in which we are afraid of other people’s views, or else we’ve lost one of the greatest values in this country. Today, families all across the country are having the same debate, and it is a sign of a healthy democracy, which we need to protect now more than ever.

My father and I also have this debate. While we do not always share the same point of view, he always listens and respects my opinions. My father has shown unbelievable courage on these issues. He was one of only 14 senators to vote against the gay-bashing Defense of Marriage Act, and he did it in a brutal election year. He stood up to Strom Thurmond during the awful “don’t ask, don’t tell” debate and talked about serving with gay soldiers. He saw the ravages of HIV and AIDS in the early days and was an original cosponsor of the Ryan White act. He hasn’t just been with this community in good times; he stood up when it mattered, when many of his colleagues were silent.

The core value for him is equality. And while he supports civil unions and not marriage, his approach is one of full equality, whether that’s taxation, inheritance, adoption, or health care. To my father, it’s always been a fundamental matter of fairness, of doing what’s right, of making sure that all Americans have full access and full protection.

We need a president and an administration that understand and promote those values, that respect differences, that welcome debate and discussion. I know that’s the vision my father has because that’s the life he’s led. Whether it was on the floor of the Senate or around our kitchen table, I’ve always been so proud of his fight for equality and fairness for all Americans.

In this season of pride, permit me to add my salute to the LGBT community. My rainbow ribbon is with me as I make my medical rounds in the hospital, and it will be with me when I hit the campaign trail again this summer.

Vanessa Kerry is a third-year medical student and a candidate for a master’s degree in health policy, international relations, and economics.

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